The Rubes

Thom
Bigg
Fish
Importer
Orange hair at night is a sailor's delight if your name is Thom Bigg. The Reuben Force sailor loves being out at sea, importing seafood for lunch and dinner, but not breakfast. All of the seafood Thom imports is shipped directly to "The Rube" except the lobsters. Thom once held five lobsters in his arms and could not contain them. The lobsters jumped out of Bigg's arms and pinched his sailor hat to shreds. Thom was so furious, he took all five lobsters and threw them back into the sea at sunset. Bigg really doesn't care for swordfish either. One day, Thom fell off his boat and a pair of swordfish attempted to swim up his nose. By the time Thom got them out of his nose, his nostrils were twice the size they used to be. Though he will deny it, many Reuben Force members claim to have seen Thom eating at Long John Silver's.

Montudo
Construction
& Entertainment
Montudo's love of heights led him into the construction industry in 1964. For 30 years his job consisted of hanging from bungee cords and setting up bamboo scaffolding. In 1981, Montudo's life was changed forever when he fell off the Gazablong bridge. Fortunately, he landed in a stemaing hot tub, which was on a cruise ship passing underneath the bridge. Montudo broke all of his teeth and his hard hat. The passengers on the ship got such a laugh out of this, Montudo decided to pursue a part-time entertainment career. He retired from construction in 1994 and has been volunteering for Habitat For Humanity ever since. He is also known as the "Bob Hope of Reuben Force", entertaining troops with his comedic acts and performing at halftime shows during football season.

Sgt.
Pain
Drill
Sergeant
Reuben Force recruits know that when they see Sgt. Pain walking down the hallway, they had better be on their best behavior or else they'll be doing push ups until their arms fall off. Pain is Reuben Force's toughest drill sergeant, but he is also a very big klutz. Because of these two things, it is said that Sgt. Pain is either inflicting pain on others, or in pain himself. He takes himself far too seriously and is constantly frustrated by his own clumsiness. He usually can be found taking out these frustrations on RICHARD REED, making him do thousands of push ups every week.

Rusty
Robot
Quality
Control
Found in the abandoned Bevalaqua Bolt & Radiator Factory that became Reuben Force Headquarters, Rusty Robot was cleaned up as best as possible and revived in 1991 after years of living in a state of atrophy, due to original factrory owner PHENADOXTRO's reluctance to pay for the leaky roof to be fixed. With limited mobility due to his advanced state of oxidation, Rusty needs to remain stationary and thus, was placed in charge of quality control for all Reuben Force merchandise.

Protectesce
Frontline
Specialist
Nothing more than a glorified human sheild, Protectesce's job is to run in front of any and all bullets being shot at Reuben Force security guards. An amazing sidenote is that he has never been killed in the line of duty, despite the fact that he just recieved his bullet-proof mask and vest last March. In his spare time, Protectesce enjoys relaxing, listening to Aerosmith and watching "Ferris Beuller's Day Off".

Tony
Parcher
Truck
Driver
Bio coming soon.


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